"I’ve Sacrificed Everything for My Girlfriend, Only to Find Her Cheating on Me": Expert Advises
- A young man is in serious distress after learning that his girlfriend, whom he believed to be faithful, may be cheating on him
- The man described how he had supported her in practically every way during their relationship and had completely trusted her, even letting her stay at his house
- He is now considering relocation and completely ghosting her
An anonymous user wrote:
"To be honest, I hardly ever check my girlfriend's phone or even want to. Since I take care of everything and she has been staying at my house, I thought it was just the two of us. Even though I'm a devoted Kabi, something told me to be on guard today. She went straight to the bedroom after finishing her errands. She was writing a text when I followed her. She hurriedly hit the home button to conceal the screen as soon as she saw me. I gave her a kiss and pretended to leave, but when I came back, the same thing had occurred. I had a gut feeling that something was wrong. I chose to take her phone, and I was shocked to see the chats that had been saved. Another man's name had a love emoji next to it, and she had saved him. I didn't confront her and, to be honest, I won't. I've already decided to move away and ignore her. I'm at my breaking point."
Source: Getty Images
Victor Salamba is a certified relationship and family coach with years of experience guiding individuals and couples through personal and relational challenges.
A man who is depressed
Sitting by himself, a young man finds it difficult to accept the truth of his relationship. Image courtesy of Getty Images.
Relationship and family coach Victor Salamba told TUKO.co.ke that while ghosting might seem like the simplest solution, closure is just as crucial for emotional recovery.
"While feeling betrayeds normal, escaping without speaking with someone could leave you feeling unresolved. It's still healthier to calmly express your feelings and let them know you've decided to end the relationship before leaving," he said.
Victor emphasised the value of emotional boundaries and self-respect in interpersonal relationships.
"By providing for her and fostering an environment of trust, you have already done a great deal. However, it is prudent to put your own dignity first as soon as loyalty is betrayed. Don't let someone who doesn't appreciate your effort drain you. Cheating is a reflection of her decisions rather than your value.
Putting healing and progress first
After such a distressing discovery, Victor also advised the young man to concentrate on getting better and regaining his confidence.
"While cheating can cause wounds, it shouldn't dictate your future relationships or self-perception. Give yourself time to think things through, and if you need help, ask friends or a counselor. Avoid jumping into a new relationship before you're emotionally prepared.
Source: Getty Images
He went on to say that leaving without a fight shouldn't equate to repressing feelings.
"Experiencing anger, hurt, or betrayal is acceptable. Give yourself permission to mourn the relationship, but try not to let it control you. Retaliation or bitterness are less important than moving forward with clarity and peace of mind."
Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general and should not be used to sway individuals' relationship choices. Readers are urged to obtain expert advice specific to their situation before making significant decisions.
Got a personal story or seeking expert guidance? Write to us at askanexpert@tuko.co.ke with ‘Ask The Expert’ as your subject line.
Woman opens up about her need for love.
Elsewhere, TUKO.co.ke reported the experiences of a Kenyan lady in her mid-20s who expressed a great desire to be in a committed relationship.
Despite her focus on her profession, she sought relationship advice as she dealt with the unexpected shift in priorities.
Allan Lawrence, an expert, told her that it is natural for people's interests and life goals to shift with time.
Source: TUKO.co.ke
