Man Shares Wife Leaving after Their Daughter’s Death, Returning 3 Months Later: “Gone to Find God”
- John Sande started dating his wife in high school, and despite noticing some red flags, that did not stop him from marrying her
- The man started noticing his wife had changed, especially after the loss of their daughter, which saw her disappear
- The internet guru ended up having to ask for help from pastors and even his wife's dad, but this did not change anything
A Kenyan social media manager, John Sande, has shared the mental and physical abuse he went through at the hands of his wife.
Source: Getty Images
Sharing his story with NTV, the 49-year-old shared the tough times he faced in the 20 years he lived with his wife.
Why did John Sande tolerate his wife's behaviour?
John disclosed that he met his lover in high school, and they started living together in 2005.
He noted there were red flags at the start but ignored them, believing that she was a nice person and hoped that things would get better.
However, he started noting that she would flirt with other men, and sometimes they would go weeks without talking.
John disclosed that they had another daughter in 2009, and in 2013, they had a baby boy, but sadly, he passed away.
In 2018, they lost their second-born daughter, and the man revealed that it went from bad to worse as his wife disappeared.
"My daughter died at around 6 p.m. At 10 p.m., her sisters came and picked her up, then they left and disappeared. Everyone is calling me on the next plan. I sit down and start writing the obituary. We did a postmortem, and it was, unfortunately, cardiac arrest. It was around July, and she came back in October. Of course, we went for the burial, but after the burial she left," he said.
After the three months, the wife returned, saying she had 'gone to look for God' and would pray from 11 pm to 5 am, but would never greet him.
John said she 'sampled' many churches before finding one in Thika and would leave at 5 am and return home at 1 am the following morning.
If he ever questioned her moves, she told him that he was interfering with her spiritual journey.
He tried speaking to his wife's dad and even sought a pastor's help, but it did not work.
Despite many asking him why he did not leave, John said he was oblivious to it being manipulation, as he did not know that was what was happening to him.
In the end, his wife moved out of the house and carried everything while he was away, only leaving him with his bed and TV.
He took her to court, fearing for his kids, but he was denied custody; however, he noted that he can see his kids.
"I have not seen a counsellor yet. I try to enrol my kids in counselling. I have cancelled myself and God has been in the midst of everything," he said.
Many on social media shared mixed reactions towards John's confession, and while others comforted him, others noted the lady's side of the story should also be considered.
Here are some of the reactions:
@TruphyH said:
"Requires counseling for both."
@EricObinga said:
"Wanaume wanakapitia hapa nje!"
@JonesMbevi said:
"This man went through hell with a "born again" woman. Gutted.. Absolutely gutted. And women keep telling us to speak up.. You can't handle men's truth."
@BarbieNairobi said:
"Is praying wrong? Why does he say it like that?"
@diana_kiget said:
"I would love to hear the other side of the story.....that woman must have been triggered by something."
@OutLook470 said:
"Your kid dies and your wife disappears and disappears again and again and comes back born again and you still tell us your wife?Are you bewitched?"
TUKO also reached out to relationship expert Jane Murimi Mugo, who noted that a lot of men go through a lot in some homes.
She noted that despite a few opening up, a lot of them aresuffering in silence, while living with opportunistic women.
"They are hiding deep wounds within. Though a number of them are opening up to me,we still have a long way to go. These are the cases in many men. That woman was/is an opportunist. The fact that she swept the house clean leaving a TV confirms it. Losing two kids and leaving raises eyebrow who leaves their partners in their lowest if they indeed love them? Then the family moving in swiftly to pick up their kin, that guy should smell a rat."
He said John might have been betryaed but it might have been a blessing in disguise and was daved from shame in the future.
"He probably has been saved from the worst. At least he can see his kids, that's ok. Moving on is the only way. Prayers you say, then all of a sudden no feelings no nothing. He should thank God for separating him from that woman. She took advantage of the man's love and possessiveness. That's when she decided to manipulate him. Let the guy dust off and start all over again. It's never too late to start. In life, acceptance of situations is very key to one's healing journey. Let him not shy away from dating, but he should be very very cautious, identify the red flags and avoid being too vulnerable on matters of love and commitment. The church theory is a scam and if it's true the wife is radicalised, which can be dangerous," she added.
Lady leaves marriage of 5 months over wedding debt
In another story, TUKO.co.ke shared that a lady left is husband of 5 months over struggles to pay the debts from their wedding expenses.
The huge wedding was said to have been at the request of the lady, but a few months later she was spotted with another man.
According to the netizen who shared the story, the man was pressured into throwing a big wedding, which now seemed like a huge loss.
Proofreading by Jackson Otukho, copy editor at TUKO.co.ke.
Source: TUKO.co.ke
Victor Otengo (Entertainment editor) Victor Otengo is the Special Projects Lead and Editor at TUKO.co.ke. He attended the Multimedia University of Kenya, where he studied for a Bachelor's Degree in Journalism and Mass Communication. He has seven years of experience in journalism and has previously worked as a writer at Standard Digital, reporter and sports pundit at Kwese TV (under African Insights). Email: victor.otengo@tuko.co.ke.
Jane Murimi Mugo (Relationship Coach and Family Expert) Jane Murimi Mugo is a relationship and marriage expert who started her counselling journey 12 years ago after realising that moulding children from a tender age is significant. The Mount Kenya University (MKU) graduate is also the author of Caged, a book addressing the plights of the boy child and is also currently working on a book on mental health, targeting boys and men.
